Wow, I just wrote that heading and stared at it for about 10 minutes asking myself, “Do I actually have any authority to write about this topic?” As of right now, I am going through the grief and writing is not coming easily.
My grandpa died March 1st after 5 months in the hospital. I was with him every evening and although that exhaustion of caregiving didn’t exactly motivate me to write, the grief of losing him is a whole other animal.
My grandpa was 93, it wasn’t a shock for him to pass. The shock came at the hole it left in my life. He was an electrician, a business owner, a father of four, a grandfather of seven and a great grandfather of two. Although a tougher man, he loved his family dearly. I have been very fortunate that I was able to spend so much time with him but in the end, the husk of the man that was once my grandfather was almost unrecognizable to the vibrant man he had been my entire life. He was always quick with a one-liner - ‘Are you doing ok today, Grandpa?’ ‘Compared to who?’ He would quip back - and if there was ever a quiet moment in a waiting room he would sing his favourite songs to pass the time. His fierce devotion to my grandma in their golden years was amazing to watch and I’ll always be grateful for him teaching us the value of hard work. And going off that value, I am determined to write through these feelings and let them influence my writing. As my grandpa used to say, “There's nothing to it but to do it.”
Writing after someone passes is difficult and could make you reexamine your entire story structures. It may make you lighter, less serious or it could take the complete other route and make you realize your stories have to mean something. It doesn’t matter which way you go, the only thing that matters is that you keep writing. Keep creative. Let yourself go through the grief and come out the other side. It will impact your writing more than you know and it will be for the better.
To anyone out there who has lost someone and has stopped writing. Know that your work is important. You deserve to be creative and happy. Whether it's lighter or on the dark side, for publishing or for yourself, continue writing through the pain and change.
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